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“I don’t want this role, but that’s how to move up in my industry”




Is the only reason you’re trying so hard for this role you don’t like, so that you can continue doing it for another 20 years?


In the past 5 days I’ve spoken to two professionals with 10+ years experience in their respective fields, both technical specialists with deep skillsets and a strong drive, working in MNCs from different industries.


Both had the same conundrum: they wanted to get on management track, but didn’t actually want to be managers.


This happens to be a situation I've seen over and over again, especially as friends and acquaintances move into their late 20s and 30s, after 5-10 years of experience depending on their industry.


Back to these two professionals - both love the technical side of their work.


One of them had actually excelled as a manager because she wouldn’t accept any less from herself, but had burnt out because of it.


I asked why they wanted to get on a track they didn’t want.

The answer: “that’s how you progress in my industry.”


Career as a means, not an end

One of them said: when I’m in my 50s, it will be hard to change jobs. So I need to be a manager now, so that I’m not competing with 30 year olds when I’m 50.


I asked her: When you are in your 50s, what is it that you actually want?

Answer: “Financial stability, impact, satisfaction.”


Me: And what does that have to do with the management track?

Answer: “I get these from my job. If I'm in management, I have better chances when I’m 50 to get another management role.”


Me: Is the only reason why you’re trying to get a management role now, (which you said you really didn’t enjoy), so that you can continue doing it for another 20 years?

Answer:”…ok...I see your point...”


Me: Can you get those 3 things in other ways besides from your job?

Answer: “…..Yes…I’m planning finances but will need a few more years. I’m still figuring out what impact and feeling valued means to me.”


Me: It’s great that you’re investing into figuring out what’s important to you. It's a journey, and will keep evolving. And it’s totally ok if you also decide to be a manager.

But if you know it’s not for you, don’t plan to stay there for another decade. Figure out how it helps you get to where you actually want to be.


So - we're working on helping her understand what she really wants.


And other possibilities that could work for her.


All that is to say…

Please please please, invest in knowing what really matters to you.


It’s totally ok to do stuff you don’t love - we do have bills to pay. Life is not glossy. And you may even find you enjoy it more than you thought.


But know why you’re doing something that you don’t actually want long-term - and how it helps you build towards something you actually will love, so that your 80,000 hours of your working life has more joy, fulfilment, satisfaction.


Here are some tools that can help:

I prefer tools that tell you about yourself, rather than tell you what job to take. The nature of roles, and even of industries, will continue to change over the coming years. But understanding yourself provides a steady basis for navigating any changes.


  • Career anchors test: This version takes 5 minutes, no email required, and tells you which aspects (out of 7-8 areas) are most important to you in your career.

  • Enneagram test: This version is free. I recommend taking a free test here, and then reading the description here (also please share your type with me if you’re comfortable! I love this stuff)


 

Non-Sequitur:

  • I’ve been thinking about pre-emptive grief as motivation to appreciate my parents better, now rather than later. This is a beautiful podcast episode.

  • Correction: Last week I linked to James Clear’s Atomic Habits app. It’s only free for the first 28 days or so. (But that could help build one habit - mine is to sleep before midnight, what’s yours?)

  • When I’m really frazzled I listen to music or read fiction. Fiction helps me learn about other cultures too, without the false veneer of objectivity - this read has been enjoyable so far, and happens to be on Obama's list.



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𝗛𝗶! 𝗜'𝗺 𝗟𝗶𝗻. 👋

𝗜 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝘂𝗿𝘀𝘂𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲, so they have fewer regrets in life.

If you’re ready, there are 2 ways I can help:

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