Hey friends,
I have a confession…I don’t always take my own advice. Or follow whatever I write in this newsletter.
Hyperfocused, but losing perspective
Over July, I was been busy dealing with family stuff, and getting a couple of new projects up, and I could sense that I needed a break after working 3 weekends - my mind wouldn’t switch off, even when I wasn’t working; I didn’t feel fully settled even after a good jog; I rushed through dinners with my partner so I could cross more stuff off my list.
From what I gather from friends, clients, and emails you send, this is pretty common:
We tend to find it hard, even intimidating, to break out of our patterns and momentum and take a step back.
This is especially tough when we’re in the thick of crossing things off, feeling productive, or feeling like we’re moving forward, somehow. Any pause we take to ground ourselves feels like it might set us back, and it’ll be harder to regain that momentum.
Yet, that’s precisely why feeling grounded is so important.
The time-output relationship is not linear.
If we’re constantly on the move, there needs to be some kind of stability to check in with ourselves - To know that this momentum is in a direction that makes sense. To figure out if there’s a better, smarter way beyond just grinding.
Still, it was tough.
Planning to break routine isn’t that difficult, but when the moment comes - to switch off your phone, get to the gym, slow down at a cafe, have that hard conversation while being fully present - that’s the actual test.
Four steps to regain headspace for better self-regulation and presence
Here’s what has helped me finally make that mental shift over the past week, to finally get some inner calm and grounding
so I can be stronger for the plans ahead, and show up better on the personal and professional fronts.
1. Keep the self-talk gentle
Blaming yourself for not being able to switch gears just loads up on the pressure, and makes this switch yet another task to accomplish. But - that’s exactly at odds with the objective.
Give yourself some grace. This doesn’t have to be over-designed.
2. Create headspace
Without this, it’s hard to absorb or process anything else, including a change in focus or pace.
4 aspects to consider:
Temporal: If you can’t carve out time for yourself, find a couple days to wake up before everyone else does, or sleep after everyone else does.
Spatially: Get away physically if you can - I used to go for staycations, but now I find a good chunk of 3-4 hours outdoors, or just a change of environment to something unfamiliar, can be helpful
Socially: Decline any social engagements that aren’t super urgent. Self-time will help you show up better when you do show up, rather than drain both time and energy
Stimulation: Especially for introverts - I find myself closing the curtains and windows more on these bright, hot afternoons, to limit sound and light, and get a cooler, calmer environment.
3. Break rhythm by design
If you’re generally a spontaneous person without a regular schedule, it might be helpful to have a few days where you deliberately put in structure
If you tend to follow a regular routine or usually optimise your schedule, then set aside a day where you have no to-dos, no appointments and no-fixed timings. Maybe there are errands that aren’t time-limited.
If dropping your regular routine gives you anxiety, then start by blocking out a morning, so you can wake up without an alarm. After lunch, you can go back to whatever you were doing, but no plans in the AM.
This helps to reduce momentum debt: the pressure and to-dos each day that get transferred on because we may not have followed our optimal plan or schedule.
We’re not machines. Start tomorrow on a clean slate.
The world won’t fall apart. I promise.
4. Purge and build leverage
When you have created that headspace, the first thing I like to do is to list out everything that I have to do or think about, and just get it out on paper.
Then, use the freed-up space to think about what it is I actually want, and why I’m doing all these things to begin with (pick your time horizon - 6 months, 3 years, 10 years).
Then, figure out which of those things on the paper are going to make the biggest difference to getting me there. There are usually 2-3 things that would make the biggest difference.
Minimise the rest using the Eisenhower matrix. Things that aren’t important, ideally shouldn’t be there at all if possible.
I hope this helps - happy headspace-creation week!
Etc:
I’ve been playing a bit with Lexica, gen AI for images. Still trying to figure it out, but it’s fun.
This is my dream way of having friends over - fuss-free hangouts, doing regular stuff. Didn’t realize it was a thing…
If you’re as appalled and discouraged about what’s going on in Gaza as I am, consider donating here, here or here.
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